Motherhood

I’m a mom of three…

Reflections on Motherhood pt. 3

Hi. Now that I’m a mom of three, I took my time to share this post. As I wrote posts for my first and second child too (click links to read) I owe you. So in short: I enjoyed three months of our ‘old life’ with my newborn – a third amazing fast and natural birth, a great Brit Milah celebration, family visits from around the world, dining out, concerts, spa treats (yes with days young baby) and many other things that since March became ‘our old life’ and are on hold until further notice…

October 2019 – 30 weeks

So let’s go back to the beginning: a third pregnancy. If you ask me if a boy’s pregnancy is different from a girl I’d say yes; but I’m not sure if that is the reason for an ‘easier’ pregnancy. Maybe I was in a better ‘place’ and maybe it didn’t leave me much time to think about it. So no, I did not enjoy pregnancy, ever. I just let it pass step by step, semester by semester, with a lack of appetite for anything and only gaining 7 kilos. It’s long and there are no shortcuts. The whole 9 months, everyone kept complimenting me how good and skinny I looked, but who cares? I’m the opposite of many moms: I gain weight AFTER birth when I start breastfeeding and regain my taste of food and life…

My 3rd child Raphael was born on December 12th 2019 in what I consider the fastest birth. Both my girls were born naturally at week 38; therefore I assumed this one would clearly be the same. Everything was planned and calculated for a 38-week-pregnancy. Family from overseas came even earlier, all my plans for home and the girls were set. But then baby Raphael reminded us of a first major life lesson: let go of control, the baby knows when is the right time! I became so impatient others kept asking ‘any news? Et aloooors?’ In the last week of my pregnancy I did various attempts and tricks to induce birth. Now I’d like to advise you trust the timing of the babies: THEY KNOW. It was a Tuesday evening at my house with my family; I was having contractions but not more or less than the last few weeks. Around midnight everyone fell asleep and my parents and brother walked to their nearby apartment (approximate 9 minute walk) leaving their phones on as they did for the last month. One hour later the fast forward button hit me and all at once: very strong contractions, an immense pressure on the lower back and the only thing I could say: He’s coming out. I quickly woke up my man and called my parents apartment telling to come NOW. At 1:15AM I called my parents apartment AGAIN saying COME NOW COME FAST; RUN. I realized we wouldn’t make it with the car and we started calling MDA. We both started dialing numbers it took us a few before the right one: 101 (See screenshot below I even dialed 911 LOL). At 1:17AM we called the right number for Magen David Adom. Raphael was born in the hospital birth room at 1:50AM. That is exactly 33 minutes since our phone call. They came super fast: 2 motorcycles and 2 ambulances – I guess it was quiet and they were excited to get a birth. My mom ran from her flat and of course panicked when she saw the ambulances! She saw me briefly as I was in a rush 🙂 The girls were sleeping didn’t notice a thing. The ambulance drove fast with the siren and burnt all red lights (first time in an ambulance). I can tell you it those bumps are pretty uncomfortable when you are in active labour! Arriving at Ichilov hospital a few sleepy women tried to register me and ask questions. I threw my file at them and said gotta no time now. I was week 40+5. God bless Amir my love who managed to be my partner in crime/birth, schlep the bags, do the bureaucracy, AND film the whole ride (I haven’t watched that video yet). Within seconds we were up going up the elevator to be met by the midwife I knew was the right one for this birth: her looks and vibe were exactly what I needed. Beautiful, tall, smiling, blond and good serene vibes. Her name was Sheshi, she said she’ll check opening and in a push he’ll be out. I was opening 10 and she was right…

I wish I could remember the smell of a newborn baby forever. What a feeling. The most powerful moment ever. You feel like a superhero. You’ve waited all your life for this moment and especially the last 9 – even 10 – months you were counting down to this. The rest of my 36 hours at Ichilov were spent quietly and connected to my baby despite the fact that Yoldot A (the new luxurious wing) wasn’t available. Still went up there with some wine in the evening with my family and friends, felt like I crashed The Norman Hotel Lobby. I was also a remotely running a big dj production and my team of girls were updating me of the whole night by Whatsapp messages…By the morning Amir went home and a few hours later my daughters parents and brother came to meet the youngest member of our family. No need to explain the emotions and pride…. By Friday noon time I was out and by the evening we were dining at TYO in Neve Tzedek. Finally I had my appetite back, a big glass of cold white wine. I know some people and traditions refuse to take a newborn out. Well I do. I did it with my girls too. Raphael went out everyday since he was born including to a rock show 4 days later. I was on such a high of finding my body back, of having met him finally, of having had such a powerful birth. Of not being pregnant anymore.

Thanks to my brother we had great photos and graphics. And my dream was a brunch at The Norman with my family, friends and work colleagues. It was so hard to wait and not be able to plan, but the minute he was born we were on it. It was the perfect celebration and I’m glad I listened to moms advice: to separate the actual Brit Milah from the celebration. We did a small intimate family gathering at our house with the mohel. I cried a lot. The baby was fine and then we walked to The Norman Hotel and had a great festive brunch, and I had a lot of bread pudding. Baby slept through the whole thing and I couldn’t show off his bow tie and ‘schleykes’…

A third child is like what I was used to hear from others. Lovey Dovey. The first three months were pure bliss. He completed us but at the same time the girls weren’t too disturbed by his arrival. We prepared them well by using the usual tricks: lots of talking, a baby gift to/from him, involving them in his life yet maintaining their routine and attention. I got my girls a personalized Peppa Pig Christmas book as baby was due around Hanukkah. In the early months it’s easier, babies eat and sleep mostly so he was with me, on me and the girls loved caring for a baby brother without feeling their mom or dad were less available and nothing in their routine changed. The Japanese Spa in Jaffa was a true treat and amazing birth gift as Raphael came with me and enjoyed every second…

But then came March, Purim and Covid19 invaded Israel too. Overnight my work ceased – yes I was working during my ‘maternity leave’ on upcoming shows that sadly never happened. And as he turned three months, he had his first fever. A third baby with two older siblings in daycare in winter would of course create viruses other new babies wouldn’t be exposed to. But this one was scary because we were just catapulted into our first lockdown. And god bless my amazing friend and pediatrician Dr. Herman who is always there to evaluate and comfort. You never get used to a sick baby. God bless the inventor of the suppository – I looked it up and it’s as ancient as the Greek and Romans – when my baby has the highest fever I’ve seen I just cry and worry, seeing your baby suffer is just unbearable and one never gets used to it. At least now I don’t fear the suppository anymore. A short praise for breastfeeding again. I would never judge you if you don’t but I’ll always encourage you to try. For short and long term benefits, for bonding aspects. I believe what I read when breastmilk adapts to the baby’s needs: more fluids, more antibodies to fight diseases and I believe they regain their power faster. I also see how they start eating solids with more force as their sucking reflex is very developed. Another thing I praise and again, doesn’t mean it works for all of us is co-sleeping: I never felt tired with this baby (remember the concept of breastsleeping for both mother & child). From day one, Raphael slept on me, then later next to me and a year later he still refuses his bed. I don’t mind, I breastfeed in my sleep and I wake up fresh every morning. We always end up all together in bed. I remember a parent with teenagers once telling me how his kids don’t want him to enter their room so for me it’s clear: let’s cuddle and co-sleep as much as we can as long as they let us….

A few words on our months in lockdown mode: I consider my kids to be in the ‘ok’ age for a pandemic meaning we have it relatively easy. Let me explain: first lockdown was easy as baby was just 3 months young and we created a great routine at home together focused on the essentials: food, home and us. Second lockdown was a bit more challenging as Raphael was already crawling, eating food and touching everything (needless to mention the amount of danger with two older siblings i.e Barbie shoes, beads etc. That’s when I finally took that online CPR Class) By the way, why do babies always want to play with dangerous objects instead of their own toys? What does this say about the consumer society we live in? I’ll refer to my first post on motherhood: false needs created by society…

As much as I miss my work and live shows, timing was fine for managing three kids. Instead of being the show production team we became the home production team – multitasking as in handling the house the garden the kitchen and keep the kids fed, alive and happy. I hope we can all see the silver lining of this pandemic. See what it’s teaching us: to connect to the here & now with our families. The joy of basic and simple family time. To be able to just play with the kids despite laundry, mess or other home chores. As a mom with a radio show called Unwind Rewind I wish I could tell you I master the art of just being. Sometimes I do and sometimes I don’t. I feel so blessed and grateful when I see my girls get along so great and play for hours with each other in their own imaginative and creative world. They are two years apart and so different (maybe that is the secret to such a fun and complementing connection?). Maybe the parents deserve some credit here too. They started as lovers, then became a couple and now a family (and a production team). When man and woman team up and can complete each other kindly; they can see the fruit of their labour in their children.

So yes lockdowns had their ups and downs and triggered some deep rooted issues to be solved and that’s where the holy me time comes in. Not to be defined in time or space but essential to any mother-woman. I always had trouble hearing parents complaining how hard it is. Yes there are challenges and your me time is often compromised but I repeat: as long as our kids are healthy and happy nothing should be defined HARD. I know one of the secrets to our parental success may be our age:. I had more than enough time before to do all of that – traveling, social, personal and any other achievements. No FOMO Yes JOMO. Being a mother to Nellie, Noa & Raphael is the greatest gift I could ever get and the light & love they bring goes beyond my imagination. Every day I love them more than yesterday but less than tomorrow. Whoever knows me knows I wasn’t really into kids before having my own. So when it gets a little intense, just take a deep breath; before you know they’re all asleep and you’ll be looking at their photos before crashing (and canceling all those other things you intended to do: Netflix, bath, dishes, read, knit etc)

Every baby phase has its perks and its challenges in the first year. I cry over many moments that pass and will not return. Oh please, if I may give you a tip: write things down! Look at their huge baby books on the photo: weekly notes during pregnancy, drawings, souvenirs, little anecdotes, achievements etc. So how to conclude? Only you know which parent you are or want to become. Listen to your gut and follow the cues of your child(ren) instead of trying to control the situation at all times. The children know and they teach us if we connect to them. The key to successful (or conscious or mindfulness) parenting is to be present; be in the here & now with them. And yes, there is a big difference between your approach towards your first second and third child. First you can tell by the dirt and the amount of stuff in your stroller. The biggest challenge is to balance the guilt of sharing – or let’s say juggle – the attention between all kiddos. And not only to the one who screams the most or the loudest.

Music · podcast · radio

Unwind Rewind 84 There’s a crack in everything, that’s how the light gets in

As Leonard Cohen teaches us

“Ring the bells that still can ring
Forget your perfect offering
There is a crack, a crack in everything
That’s how the light gets in”

Ahead of Hanukkah, the festival of light , we go back to our childhood dreams, our heartbreaks and connect to our inner child’s wishes. We remind ourselves to accept darkness in order to have light. We remember that we are all equal even if different. That the contrast of black & white is necessary in order to find balance. No darkness without light, no light without darkness.

May you all have a wonderful Hanukkah and get lost in an abundance of light…

1Milk Carton KidsAll the things…
2Roberta FlackThe first time I ever saw your face
3The CardigansLovefool
4John PrineI remember everything
5GrandaddyHewlett’s daughter
6Johnny Cash & Rosie Nix AdamsFather & daughter
7Paul SimonMother & Child reunion
8John LennonWoman
9SantanaBlack Magic Woman
10Harry Connick JrRecipe for love
11Billy JoelSummer, Highland Falls
12Leonard CohenAnthem
13Travis BirdsCoyotes
14Ilay Bodner & Ran DanknerShavim (Equals)
15BahamasLost in the light
collage by me – signed by Leonard Cohen 2010
Music

Unwind Rewind 83 Slow, Soft & Groovy

Unwind Rewind is here to undo with you… Go from active to passive from doing to being… We pass by the groove and check if our body responds to it… And then go back to breathing… In order to give ourselves and others slowness, softness and to allow our hearts to expand…

1Leonard CohenSlow
2Henri SalvadorUne chanson douce
3Gal CostaDesafinado (Live)
4Muddy WatersGot my mojo working (Live)
5Aretha FranklinMuddy Water
6Ramsey LewisWade in the water
7Nina SimoneEretz Zavat Halav ou Dvash (Live)
8Monty AlexanderGlory Glory Hallelujah
9N8nQuit playing games
10Nina Simone & Lauryn HillTo Zion (Prod. Amerigo Gazaway)
11Deee LiteGroove is in the heart
12Steve WonderSuperstition
13Bill WithersWho is he (And what is he to you?)
14Sia Breathe me
15The BeatlesBecause
16Ray CharlesImagine
17Shlomo ArtziTetaaru Lachem (Imagine)
Music

Unwind Rewind 82 Your body is a Wonderland

Hi friends and welcome to unwind rewind… Today an hour of talks and music around our body… the way we and others perceive it… the vessel that carries us through life… think about what it goes through, what it endures during a lifetime… Self care, Self love… Our body is a wonderland so let’s take good care of it…

Mens sana in corpore sano

1John MayerYour body is a wonderland
2Eric ClaptonBell Bottom Blues (Live)
3Billy JoelJust the way you are (Live)
4Dire StraitsRomeo & Juliet (Live)
5StingFragile (Live)
6Eva CassidyFields of Gold
7Lenny KravitzFields of Joy
8ExtremeMore than words
9Hall & OatesWhen the morning comes
10Francis & The LightsMorning
11Kanye WestRunaway
12QueenKiller Queen
13The Sixteenth LambAni Ohev (I love)
14HaBanot NehamaSo Far
15Justin BieberLove yourself
Listen to all the songs compiled on my Unwind Rewind Spotify Playlist – without the talking
Listen to all the songs compiled on my Unwind Rewind Spotify Playlist – without the talking
Music

Unwind Rewind 81 ‘Blinded by the Light’

Blinded by the Light… But not by money fame or fancy cars… We like to talk about the inner Light and our path to happiness… Through nature and through the simple things…

1Manfred Mann’s Earth BandBlinded by the light
2Bruce SpringsteenMeeting across the river
3Pete JosefColour
4Cat StevensSitting
5James TaylorWalking Man (Live)
6Randy NewmanLonely at the Top (Live)
7StarmaniaLe Blues du businessman
8Paul WellerWild Wood
9Natasha BedingfieldUnwritten
10Hanan Ben AriIm Tirtsi
11Tom MischIt runs through me
12Michael KiwanukaLight
13Ray LamontagneSuch a simple thing
14Amos LeeSimple things
15Tedeschi Trucks BandSimple things
16The BeatlesHere comes the sun

Follow me on Spotify and enjoy all songs from Unwind Rewind here:

Listen to all the songs compiled on my Unwind Rewind Spotify Playlist – without the talking
Music · podcast · radio

Unwind Rewind 80 It’s O.K.

80 episodes of Unwind Rewind… Marilyn Ambach here to bring you an hour of softness, sweetness & slowness… With some live music to honor the live music industry…. Some thoughts on college and childhood… And how being connected to our roots is also what defines us ahead… And how we comfort our children and ourselves with a hug: It’s O.K.

1Elton JohnCome down in time
2Lianne La HavasStarry Starry Night
3Don McLeanAmerican Pie
4Damien RiceThe professor & La fille danse (Live)
5Sondre LercheIs it ok if I call you mine?
6Eric ClaptonBefore you accuse me
7J.J. CaleAfter midnight
8KhruangbinPelota
9Leonard CohenTower of Song
10The AngelcyThe Call
11Yoni Rechter, Avner KannerKol od (As long)
12Simon & GarfunkelMy little town
13Ingrid MichaelsonBe OK
14Tom RozenthalIt’s OK
Listen to all the songs compiled on my Unwind Rewind Spotify Playlist – without the talking
Listen to all the songs compiled on my Unwind Rewind Spotify Playlist – without the talking
Music

Unwind Rewind 79 In my place

Our theme today is our place, our home or in other words: where we feel safe…

1ColdplayIn my place
2Katie MeluaHeading Home
3Nick DrakePlace to be
4Foy Vance Homebird
5Blind FaithCan’t find my way home
6B.B. KingAin’t nobody home
7Jack JohsnonBetter Together
8Labi SiffreIt must be love
9Hall & OatesHad I known you better
10AbbaThank you for the music
11David CrosbyMusic is love
12Billy JoelHonesty
13Grateful DeadLooks like rain
14Ryan AdamsCall me on your way back home
15Leonard CohenShow me the place
16Piers FacciniSave a place for me

Music

Unwind Rewind 78 The Fall / The Pandemic Meltdown

Welcome back to Unwind Rewind after another month in Lockdown number 2…. Today we invite autumn leaves and rain in Israel… We discuss how the change of the seasons affect and fluctuate our bodies and minds… And all this amid a pandemic where we learn how to have a good Pandemic Meltdown once in a while…

1Ruthi NavonGeshem beito (Rain in time)
2Shlomo Gronich & Shem Tov LeviLeylot Hastav (Autumn nights)
3LiorAutumn Flow
4ZombiesTime of the season
5The Rolling StoneShe’s a rainbow
6Damien JuradoOver rainbows and rainier
7Jose GonzalezOpen book
8Peter FramptonJust the time of year (Live)
9Eva CassidyAutumn leaves (Live)
10ColdplayThe Scientist (Live)
11Daryll Hall & John OatesHad I known you better (Live at Daryl Hall’s home)
12Damien RiceCannonball (Live)
13Habrera HativeetEtsleinu BeKfar Tudra

Music

Unwind Rewind: My Tribute to Leonard Cohen

Although it was only my 4th radio program and I sound like a total amateur, this is my personal Leonard Cohen tribute. I didn’t even have a jingle yet, but I already said ‘Hi friends’ just like him on stage. A lot of live songs and stories from my road adventures with the Unified Heart Touring Company in 2010…

Read the whole ‘Marilyn & Camp Cohen’ story here

Lover, Lover, Lover
Dance Me to the End of Love
The Future
Who By Fire
The Partisan
Hallelujah
First We Take Manhattan
Closing Time
I Tried to Leave You
Music

Unwind Rewind 77 ‘The wind of my soul’

Today we listen to the wind of our soul. We express our anger, sadness and confusion ahead of Israel’s second lockdown. We feel the music of the south, of the gut, of the heart. We think and discuss Jewish Rosh Hashana and the high holidays ahead during this pandemic… May we all resume our routine as fast as possible… We love routine…. Routine is good….

Wishing you all a happy & healthy New Year 5781. Shalom

1Cat StevensWind of My Soul
2The Allman Brothers BandLittle Martha
3Bob DylanBlind Willie McTell
4Marcus KingOne Day She’s Here
5Ray LaMontagneYou Are the Best Thing
6Chris StapletonEither Way 
7Michael KiwanukaAlways Waiting
8Murray HeadNever Even Thought
9Gnarls BarkleyCrazy
10Jimi HendrixThe Wind Cries Mary
11Elliott SmithMiss Misery
12Jose GonzalezSlow Moves
13Silvio RodríguezOjalá
14Leonard CohenTake This Waltz
15Georges MoustakiLe temps de vivre

Music

Almost Famous tribute…

Today a special tribute to the movie Almost Famous and its 20th anniversary (2000-2020) celebration. Along with my guest, friend and coworker Amit Mallel we talk about the meaning and relevance of the movie then and today. Including songs, fun facts and epic scene snippets from the film. We discuss our concerts together with anecdotes from artists, tours and the backstage. Penny Lane (Kate Hudson) stands for the ‘Groupie’ phenomenon or should I say ‘Bandaids’? From Lester Bangs (Philip Seymour Hoffman) we learn how to act around rockstars. Russell (Billy Crudup) from fictive band Stillwater teaches us the distinction between real and fake people around celebrities and their blown up egos and the risks that come along with fame and stardom. And William Miller (Patrick Fugit) shows us how to stay true, stay cool, be real and stick to what really matters in this industry: the music.

1The Who“Sparks”
2Yes“I’ve Seen All Good People: Your Move”
3Rod Stewart“Every Picture Tells a Story”
4Simon & Garfunkel“America”
5Lynyrd Skynyrd“Simple Man”
6Led Zeppelin“That’s the Way”
7Elton John“Tiny Dancer”
8Thunderclap Newman“Something in the Air”

Music

Unwind Rewind 76 ‘Sounds of September’

Sounds of September bring us birds, skies and lullabies… and of course some unforgettable anecdotes and memories from the backstage…and contact me for that chocolate cake recipe…

Bronfman Auditorium September 2019
From left to right: Jonnie Feliciano (tour manager & son), Marilyn Ambach (6 months pregnant), Noy Aloosh (DJ/radio host), Jose Feliciano, Daniela Pik-Tarantino (4 months pregnant), Quentin Tarantino
1Leonard CohenBird On The Wire  (Live)
2Joe CockerBye Bye Blackbird (Live)
3Bettye LaVetteBlackbird
4Michel Fugain & le big BazarFais comme l’oiseau
5The Alan Parsons ProjectEye in the sky
6Jose FelicianoPegao
7Randy CrawfordStreet Life
8Lenny KravitzIt Ain’t Over Til It’s Over
9Billie EilishWhen the party’s over
10James MorrisonToo Late for Lullabies
11The BeatlesGolden Slumbers
12Emitt RhodesLullaby
13Miki GavrielovAba Sipur
14Shalom ChanochLayla (Night)
15LeadbellyIrene (Goodnight Irene)
16Billy JoelLullabye (Goodnight, My Angel)
17Ben Folds FiveLullabye
Listen to all the songs compiled on my Unwind Rewind Spotify Playlist – without the talking

https://open.spotify.com/embed/playlist/2A1R31pGP5qsg77nsIaCAl

Listen to all the songs compiled on my Unwind Rewind Spotify Playlist – without the talking